Friday, February 27, 2009

good memories


I've been reminsicing those you called good and bad times,stronger and stronger...
like addictive, a dope,you've been thinking about it every single moment,and this just reminds me some friends out there whom i've missed so much.
大一,freshman,第一次过年寒假回家,中午去买火车票的时刻在食堂那献了第一次血,一个小星星伤口一个星期才好,得到这个笔记本,从此就变成我的日记。
我想我会一直保留它,不管是正确还是错误的事情,都不会撕掉。
阴雨天,一直一直在,雨虽然没有下下来,却总是灰蒙蒙的天,有雾般的雨星,就像凉凉的蒸汽一样。我煮了小米加燕麦粥,大家都说小米很难吃,有一股奇怪的味道,我知道那是味道,碍于某种礼教文化,我就不说明了,如果想知道就去买下小米,黄色的那种,洗洗的时候就知道是什么味道了,如果你没有boyfriend或者husband,哦,那可能你不会知道结果。
我很想Ys<3,不知道为什么,我觉得好像和谁都没有那么多话讲,除了她,虽然我们一直在相互嘲讽的语气,但都熟透了彼此,就是那个样子,我们都知道自己在说什么,对吧.
很想阿麦麦<3,不知道泰达还有没有下雪,你是不是还是黄脸婆呢哈哈哈,千万不要砸我。现在看来,真是物以类聚,人以群分,一点都没错,我们几个聚在一起就会相安无事,看电视上杂志上教怎么化妆,估计我们都不会学会也不会去败那个钱了,所以我至今还不会化妆,我知道她们也不会。
如果和一群整天花枝招展的女人在一起,打打扮的人,我....可能接受不了。
还有我家TJ,我喜欢他的每个表情和动作,嘻嘻嘻,超级可爱,不管你觉得怎么样了,总之在我心里就是:)<33333333
终于周末了,我本来在午休,可是不得不在这里写上一笔。
最近,我很爱听CIRCUS,怎么会这样@@

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

office ladies

应广大同志们要求及鄙视,OK多写点中文。

致:还未参加工作,仍在校园内做安逸学生;待业期的众多朋友。

办公室白领是什么意思?我不知道,好像也没什么具体的概念,但快递员会说我们是办公室的白领,坐在办公室里电脑前,安逸的,喝杯茶,吃个零食,即时在线聊天工具使用下...比他们风里来雨里去好多了。我想想:偷笑。

我知道了为什么毕业时很多人纯真的人格,美丽的面容会在工作后半年一年...被彻底改变,变得油条,变得冷血,变得事不关已,高高挂起,变得爱钻空,变得爱推卸责任,变得爱嚼舌根,变得惨不忍睹,变得势力,变得可怕,变得可怜,变得可悲...当然,这只是一部分会这样,还有好的存在着,比如我,我还清醒着,也时刻提醒着自己。

我不明白为什么要让人变得如此白纸黑字的证据放在眼前才会淹没你的无理,难道口头诚信不能作为诚信的证据了吗,难道一定要让你很难堪的时候你才会低下头却始终不承认错误吗,难道在别人背后不停的说三道四能显示你人缘极好吗...貌似有天大的秘密,其实敞开天窗说亮话不会效果更明显吗?

人人都说他是疯子,东风西吹,日夜颠倒完全不知人间白黑。我不会因为你卑微的所谓自尊来收拾别人的残局,推卸责任的人请出来,其实你们有什么能耐呢,就是在该表现的时候绝对绝对不忘秀一把,好吧,这是我的弱点,无法匹敌,也做不到这么虚伪。

办公室友情是什么呢,很难讲,不知道要修多久的缘才能遇见那么一个;
装痴卖傻的你几岁了,你就是装B;
办公室女郎何时才能团结起来,很难讲,基本上在我身在之时不会看到了。

Monday, February 23, 2009

this relief,this made my day




This two pics really made my gloomy day and I just can't help laughing out loud in my heart HAHAHA :D

I love you sweetie,soooo much!!!

RANT

I don't get why some people or should I just pull out the word"bastard"are so stupid;
I found it's completely useless to argue with someone,it's a fucking waste of time and what's worse you know,that stupid asshole would drive you crazy!

And,your in a lower level than him in this muthafn company,what else you gotta say huh,he's never wrong,NEVER!So when you thought you could deal with him with some senseable reasons or just be rational with him, he doesn't buy it,and he won't buy it,he's just fucking stupid self-righteous dumb ass!That saying is right,"birds of a feather flock together",to whom that follow his lead,is also stupid in my eyes.

It's easy to find out,everyone dislike him but we just don't say it,but are you taking it as we're afraid of you?Or are you taking it as your the smartest muthafucker in this world?So nobody can compete with you?
But but but oh sir,why your still under controlled after these whoaa like 10 years of career fighting?Are you blind or retarded that your just an employeeeeeee,like everyone else here.

I don't fight with this dumbass no more,like I said it's totally useless and a waste of time,you'll just gonna see.

I feel much better now,cause it's ME who got the rights,and ohhh one more thing:to whom that called me the other day asking if i got scared,FUCK OFF lady!
Apparently,you don't know my temper at allll.It's YOU who got fucking scared,afraid of losing your job or bonus babe?

I don't wanna know cause I don't give a shit!

Friday, February 20, 2009

WHY

I have NO idea why i'm getting so tense whenever i'm dialing a call to my so-called co-workers whom i've never met or been contact with.
I just don't know how to start a conversation,which way is decent,how to tell them who am i,what's my name,what i am trying to say to them...

Is that a shyness or inferiority(is that the right word -.-) a sense of inferiority.
I don't know!The only thing i know is i have to overcome this psychology down in my head,it's like a psywar,can you get me?

However,i'm finally seeing the sun after this so long week!It looks so beautiful outside,I think everything will just get fine soon.

Wish me luck!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I have to make a note of this

So i read this article and it really helped.i found it's very useful and reasonable so i think i should share with all of you (:
Yes it's a tough economic time and all workers share the same common of getting fired,and today we're not only scared of getting fired but also afraid of getting laid off from jobs.

Those are 10 ways we'd damage our career,you should we should all avoid these:

1.Not keeping track of your accomplishment.
i have to say this is really important to keep notes of what you've done ,what you've got in the process of your work career,not to say someday your asking for a salary increase but also it helps when annual performance coming,and that time it's the only time your boss would know what you have achieved in this year.AND who knows whens the next time you're applying for another job,so what content you've got for your resume ,got it:)

2.Not keeping your skill set current.
You should always keep up the date,keep your skill set current to show that make your boss's money worthy on you espesically when he's going to reduce the expense.It's a ever-changing world remember that.

3.Not delivering results.
If you cost money instead of making money your guaranteed to fall in the wayside.The common sense would tell us that the bussiness is about accountbility.

4.Efficient does not equal effective.
Communicating with people by your emails,text messages,your blackberry chats won't help you establish the relationship with people.TALK to them is the fastest most effective way.

5.Thinking your irreplaceable.
There's no room for the "divas" in the workplace.There're millions of people looking for job right now and definitely more than a few of could do your job,replace your position and probably they'd do better than you.if you think your the only one who can do the job "right",your surely start to fall.

6.Knowing all the answers.
To stay afloat with today's job market,stay current and learn to ask questions and listen to some new ideas.

7.Surrounding yourself with "brownnosers" .
i am really sick of those bragging pig ass and i think your sharing the same opinion with me.

8.Take all the credits.
Just give credit where it due.Most managers are smart enough to recognize it when you inappropriately take full credit for positive outcomes despite the help or input by the others.

9.Not tooting your own horn.
Your boss doesn't have time to keep a tab on each of their empolyees,so how would your boss know the value of you to this company unless you tell him?
it's hard for some of those who're really shy (like me?! lol),but it really worth a try.

10.Losing your perpective.
It's awful to lose your perpective.Acknowledging that you're not perfect would earn you respect in the office,but give out an idea to show your way,people need to seek advice and perspectives.

Monday, February 16, 2009

a MONDAY

It's a Monday again and i have to say that i have zillions of different moods for this very first day of that start-over-again work day.

I always try to think optimistic while i'm getting ready for work on Monday or the whole weekday would turn out to be so crappy.And it really works for me!

it's pretty smoggy and raining for a little bit,like it's the best time to curl in your bed and just chillin' on the internet,turn off the lights,close your windows,draw off your curtains,what a wonderful day and at the same time it's the worst.Think further it'll just ruin your fight spirit,ruin your life.

Bingo!my boss wanted me to redone the report form for her due to her inconsistent idea.
So i have my very first deadline for Monday:it's 530pm.

i really hate doing endless report form,and excel just drives me crazy!
but deal with it,this is life,this is work,this is it!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

.

今天就是个周末,一个补班的周六。
不知道是睡不着还是根本就不想睡,好像总想发疯;
知道发疯是什么意思吗,其实我也不知道,总之我就是在乱踢乱打乱掐,我心里统统的都是闷,但,哪一个闷字了得!

就是堵的慌,我不知道为什么会这样,本来是好好的一天,到了晚上过的异常不顺畅!TA为什么要用那样的态度对我,我真不明白,我有这样吗,反思着我从来没这样过。

做完25张excel后我想我真的是崩溃了,如果领导说不是他想要的我想我更是无语加崩溃,但是我又能怎么样,难道我去大吼说你要什么,你到底想怎么样,要不你自己去做?这都是我积累太久的东西,但是我能这样说吗,我不能,尊重别人尊重自己都不能这样去做。

今天闲空看了虎人牛年的运势,貌似不佳,只能靠自己的意志力和理智来战胜一切困难方可,但是我对自己没有把握,至少这句话在今天(哦已经0:01am了)这个时刻说是对的。

其实很多时候我不能理解自己,也不知道自己到底应该去把握些什么,过的又迷糊又清楚的日子,我真的觉得很讨厌自己!

我真的很讨厌自己!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

i strongly feel the urge to stop doing this

i need to have to stop focusing on my blog!
this is like so addictive and my life's been passing away without even realizing and i done nothing all day. omg and i feel so useless!why can't I find better things to do:/

this is what i did this morning when they guys are all gone to work and me got up tried on the shorts make sure that i can still fit in it,luckily after a whole night's diegestion and my push push push it in,i did it!

so look like this ,what does it mean huh ,i need to lose some serious weight and keep in shape in this so soon coming summer,i have to lose some especially on my thigh,i hate it!

yes i need neeed neeeeed to stop checking /reading blogs from time to time ,it's soooo stupid and a totally waste of gold time.

Spare meeee!!

a Thursday

It's a Thursday oh yes i'm off from work. -.-

Post up this entry is mainly out of boredem,this is what i made like 3 days ago,on Chinese Lantern's day,almost the most delicious stuff i've ever made,i love love love it.
i felt a little down right now but no idea what's all that about,being alone in my house is great,i should have got my ID card done but i'm way lazy to get ass off from my bed...

oh yes i made lunch for them but for ME it taste like ...oh boy!i barely eating anything this noon.

Cleaning is another big housework to do,should i just let it be?
how about those stray clothes and dust?
i hate hate hate dust in my room,i hope i don't get cleanliness.


finished product,yummylicious (:
the stuffing,tofu,ham,shrimp

yes it's MEEE who made this


okay byes
i'm so tired,my neck's sore

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

我也不知道

天气预报明明显示有26度,为什么我感觉才10度左右呢?
每天早上起来都是阴天的模样,太阳一直若隐若现的让我开始赖床,今天早上就晚了一分钟,8:37...我真的,无语..我又没睡成懒觉也没在家吃上早饭,我又迟到1分钟,我真的,无语...+悲伤;
不得不找出这张曾经post过的照片再放在这里来不断提醒自己,难道没有阳光我就不能灿烂了吗,那这也太emo了点吧!
感觉身上的衣服要换了,我真的很想很想去买新衣服,这些旧季的衣服就搁置在我的旧衣柜吧,但是和TJ刚说过要节流,特别是在shopping上,我曾经在年初的时候和TJ说今年我不买衣服,不买鞋子,因为什么都有,什么都不缺,要买的就是给你买几条裤子,再买双打球穿的鞋..
可是我突然间就觉得没有衣服了,上次在MNG败的两件,一件也没穿过一天,我的确该对自己好好反省下了,我花了多少冤枉钱,具体到现在我也没有办法说明,只知道如果当时我怎样怎样,就不会沦落到现在的怎样怎样,还要计划着我们的每个月,每个季度,每个半年,每个一年。
但是我为什么现在有选择困难症了,我怎么不能为自己喜欢的东西做回主呢?我为什么害怕在镜子前照照呢,我怎么又不敢去买衣服呢,我只能想到的就是买secondhand的衣服,那穿着还真是惬意些。
然后,20号还有一叠账单要交...可是我昨天刚拿的工资,还扣了1.56天的事假..我还真没见过0.06天这样的请假,这怎么忍心记录成1.56,我都那个那个那个不知道再该说些什么了。
明天停电,改到2月14日周六上班,无所谓了,反正Valentine's Day对于我来说就是个日子,是个09年的周末,仅此而已。

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

URG


突然间,胸口急闷,闷的我喘不过气来,憋屈的要命。
什么东西都看不下去了,做着无休无止的报销单,我简直要抓狂了!

那天刚刚说好的要努力今天就被这些王八捣乱了,我真是不甘心!
真的憋的好难受,为什么为什么为什么!

看到那什么总结报告,我真是恶心的想吐,不是说心理上,而是胃里真觉得难受的要命,我快疯了,为什么呢!我估计就是因为有人在不断的催我交这个,干那个,而且又是我最讨厌的事情,怎么会这样呢,我真是超级无语了,无语了,无语了@@
我讨厌无休止的报表,都过去了还要再纠结干什么,事情太少了没事可做了是吗,FFFFFFFFF!
URGGG,what a hell week!

Monday, February 9, 2009

what i lack of


what i lack of and literally losing is my confidence;
i didn't realize it until last night when i just clicked around and i happened to visit a profile of my classmate who's from my junior school;i don't know if the "classmate"should be the proper word but we're definitely not friends,
BUT i do admire her,about what she's achieved in this so short time.I mean we just graduated from college and what she has done so far are already throw me a thousand miles away(which i think it is).
i took this so cute bear couple this noon break and did some editing;
i hope when i look at them they'd give me some courage to make things right again,
but in the end i'm hoping the saver could be myself,only me,myself can break it free.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

can't let this sneak

Wake up in the morning to this it's a bliss.
*i didnt smile in the pics cause the sunlight blocked my eyes*




it's such a beautiful day,and it's a Saturdays(kudos for it);
so i was thinking of snapping some pics out of it:P

here is the balcony of our house,looks so pretty.
bear with me,they're all taken by my Nokia E71,*suck at taking pics*
don't have a regular digital camera right this moment lol,but it's already,enough for ME.


the morning,the sun,the bike

that is a mango tree


the path


and myself,how can i let myself out of all this lol:P
and oh yes it's warm like this in Fuzhou now

i was totally blind

<== for me,it's like a rip off;

I thought it was 23.40 bucks to buy that shampoo but the list showed 43.40;20 bucks just flied away from my bankcard and i didn't realize until i got home,ready to eat that look-so-sweet apple...

i don't think i'd EVER spend almost 50 bucks to buy a shampoo,i think it's such a waste,totally a waste of money.i prefer my money spend on some delicious food or clothes shoes...whatever but not those supermarket stuff.

but i have a decent a night sleep lmao pretty sacrastic i almost forgot this right now(it's noon lol);
okay just make a note of this;)

Friday, February 6, 2009

struggle

So life's been on the track but i have no idea where am i heading to,it's like internal debate,i felt so painful.

things are easy and clear out there but somehow:

should i be all serious about this?
does it really matter that the kitchen is a mess?
am i talking to myself?
should i get up at 7am in the morning to make that breakfast?
...
it's so chaotic,i need to clear my head;
i can't make everyone satisfied.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

我的新年|my Chinese new year

It's such a fresh start,i'm starting to like this and i'm trying my best to live my life to the fullest!

from now on,i have this dream to go after,i find my target to hit,i have to get it done.
<3.


2009年的新年是辛苦的,劳累奔波在几个城市,生病了,难受了,想家了,但不管是什么原因,我都觉得是值得的。

新年我学到了很多东西。小时候看到书上有人写道:“那句话改变了我的一生”…总觉得这是不可信的,至少对于我来说。后来我假装让一些人的一些话使我大彻大悟,但是都是表面功夫,徒劳。我假装表现的我真的醒悟了,我的生活开始要有新的方向了,原来不是,我一直都只是在欺骗别人同时在麻醉着自己。

这一年真的变了很多,我想了很多,反省了很多,这样的生活是我迷茫的时候想要的,安定,无忧却无作为,一生也只能如此。但是曾经的我不是这样想的,我想要的是更多,更多却不是贪婪,而是在你能力里可以去得到的东西,我丢弃了太多,是时候该前进了。

22岁了,今年底就是23岁了,我真的脱离了18岁的光阴,我之前却一直在做梦自己只是18,20的列车我还没踏上,现在看来我只是自我蒙骗而已,真的太傻了。22岁对于女孩子或者说对于我来说是该明确事业的方向,感情要开始稳定下来向婚姻发展了,一直觉得“责任”这个词用在我们身上太过沉重,现在想想它其实就在眼前。就像找工作的时候从来不觉得找工作该是件多么成长的事情,总是在悠哉的过生活…我也不后悔,过去的成就现在的。

我是该想想我能做什么了,我可以做到的,或者至少我开始想着自己能做了,如果连想都没想的话,我就真的一辈子都不可能做到了,我在尝试,我在努力,如果我失败了,也是值得的,因为我付出了。

好了,这个新年是多样的,我开始喜欢那个城市,因为,我不会迷路。

Z60,福州—北京西,真的很冷,和福州差太多,嘴里说话冒白气,我开始过真正的冬天了

傻乎乎的我,胖了很多啊


妈妈包的烫面饺子,比姥姥的差点嘿嘿

初四早晨,邢台车站,去看TJ的爷爷奶奶

我和TJ,邢台车站留影,匆忙间,kacha

姥姥家的炕,炕上的床比什么床都舒服


我们开始点火烧炕,到后院抱柴火,感觉真好

要走了,姥姥家大院,那棵树是我每天早上起床刷牙的地儿,真有感觉


那玉米堆下全是老鼠窝吧

玉米玉米

烧暖气的煤

挥挥手,再见

临走前,我和姥爷留影。
他真的给我很大影响,每天睡觉前还会学习看书,金融危机竟然能被他说的头头是道
希望您一切都好!

我和姥姥,特别特别好的人,最善解人意,做的饭都好吃

Z59,北京西—福州,我们要回去了,这还穿着棉袄;
TJ在北京的冬天,那2点的太阳算是夕阳吗

北京的羊肉串,太便宜了,这么大个,5元/2串,好吃

北京的糖葫芦,也便宜,这么长这么多,1元/串,还去籽儿的,也是yummyyummy哦

北京的路边摊,还是便宜,西三环处

北京西站
如果您是第一次去那坐火车,真要早点,真的太大了,真的太大了
我有点找不着北
我写的太多了,弥补曾经未写的,一次性看饱.